| 2009: Part 01 (A piece of the Twisted Marionette Saga) |
[01 Jan 2009|01:28am] |
And he fell from the sky:So, I've not written much of late, infact I haven't done much of anything of late, I guess it's been a part of the depression, it started with the medication and continued afterwards, that shit really knocked me the fuck out, not out of consiousness but out of life, living in a strange loop of dark feelings and thoughts. The impact smashed every bone and broke his flesh:it was a fucking pain, the different medicaitions (because I kept having very unfortunate side effects with each one) and the different psycholgists and psychiatrists who refused to diognose me with anything, and gave me stupid advice (based on thier own bliefes and not on my situation). There he lay for a long time, broken:I had to stop, it was all ripping me apart, just trying to find help and being made to feel that because I had the straignth to seek help, I didn't need help and that the things I was doing to myself wern't a good enough sign of how I was inside my head. He awoke to the sight of his own blood:I stopped self-harming by cutting, not because I needed to, but for the same reason that I haven't picked up my bass (seriously) for a long time: because it just seems like too much effort for such little release and beyond that it's proof that I am alive, and I just haven't been alive, I have been nothing but a zombie, surviving each day by going with a dark flow, a grim tide of miserable thoughts and feelings. The climb out of the pit was neverending:There has to be more to life than this, I feel so dead inside, I always thought that things could never get worse, but they do and the situation is made more dire by the fact that I have everything I've ever wanted, right now at this exact second in time I have everything I need from life, but I just can't seem to live it, I tear little strips off, not meaning to, but I keep being in terrible moods and it feels like I'm destroying the only light in life that I have, trying to drag everything around me down to my level, so that I don't have to face climbing up towards the light where I can lead my life finally living free of the darkness inside my mind, maybe not compleatly free but atleast I'd be busy with life and trying to be a better person. There was a choice; give up and suffer or fight and suffer:No matter what I do, I know that the depression will always be with me, but I can't let it get to me, I can't be as worthless as I have been this past year! Hopfully the fall into darkness had not broken his claws:Lol, crap poetry and angsty writtings, something I've not done in a long time, it helps a lot...
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| second iPod looks promising |
[31 Dec 2008|12:13pm] |
The first iPod (the one with the broken docking connector) would be hard to fix but it will make an excellent source of spare parts for the second iPod. The second one was here when we got back from Maryland. It had a some slight creases across the aluminum back, was missing the cover on the WiFi antenna, and a tiny chip connecting the USB 5-volt line had melted loose, possibly due to a bad power supply.
After replacing the chip I was able to get iTunes to recognize it as an iPod in "Recovery Mode". Unfortunately every attempt to "Restore" the iPod firmware has resulted in "An unknown error occurred" with various error codes such as 1600 and 1604. I think that part of the problem is that the battery won't hold a charge long enough to install the new firmware.
I used Apple's Online Support Assistant to check the warranty status of the serial numbers on the three iPod backs I had. The first iPod came with two backs, the original gouged dented one and a new replacement that the previous owner had purchased. The original back has a serial number that shows as out of warranty: "Our records indicate that your product is not covered for service." The replacement one was apparently never sold on an iPod because it's not in Apple's database: "We're sorry, the number you have provided cannot be found in our records." The second iPod is apparently still under warranty: "Our records indicate that your product is covered under Apple's Limited Warranty which is estimated to expire on July 09, 2009. ". I've put the original back on the second (almost working!) iPod and if the snow ever stops falling I'll take it to a local Apple store for evaluation. They might just replace it with a refurbished one!
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[30 Dec 2008|07:05pm] |
Has anyone experienced these symtpoms...?
Can't concentrate. Heart skips erratically, unexpectedly. Cannot for the life of you keep a single thought together, to the point of almost babbling nonsensically. Inability to remember things properly. Dizziness out of nowhere, possible blood-pressure instability. Cold cold cold.
I'm at a healthy weight...
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