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[05 Nov 2009|11:28pm] |
My chest is falling apart
I can't see, I can't think, I can't feel anything
but pain.
Everything I've done
for the past 6 months
is worthless, meaningless
useless.
I could write more broken words, but I am Jack Kerouac and I need a drink.
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[01 Nov 2009|08:17pm] |
Oh my god, that fear
those butterflies
I haven't felt them
in years.
I'm falling for you.
Slowly and surely, the way it should be.
I hope you're falling for me.
We both could feel what a loving relationship is supposed to be.
You're the only thing that's keeping me in this town. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
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[11 Oct 2009|06:24pm] |
I really do hate you.
"It's just one cloud."
Don't worry, I'll be throwing up my dinner later. We all know that's why you treat me like dirt.
I don't see you running until your legs go numb.
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[07 Oct 2009|10:10pm] |
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"When you love someone, you gotta love it all. Otherwise it ain't love."
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[03 Oct 2009|01:08pm] |
If I had it my way,
I'd see you every day
Because this old photograph
is just not the same.
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[25 Sep 2009|12:48pm] |
Some say monogamy can never truly happen
And oh I agree, at least for me
Because I love how one talks to me
and another's sense of humor
and another's body
and another's ability to love.
I want all of them, all to myself.
I truly, deeply love them, need them in my life
and I can't imagine giving my heart to just one man..
It's big enough for all of you.
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[24 Sep 2009|10:08pm] |
I always wondered why you needed substances to feel good
until I felt the pain you feel every day
unable to voice yourself
and I feel this blanket that you cover yourself in every night
and I cannot pull myself out from underneath its covers.
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[20 Sep 2009|10:54am] |
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I've never felt invincible.
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[05 Sep 2009|10:16am] |
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I had a dream I fell in love. It was real, and it filled every inch of my body. Barely contained by my bones and screaming to burst out of my skin. And for a split moment after I woke up, I got to hold on to all of it; I was allowed to experience love. And in all my years searching for it, I have never been more certain that this is my only purpose in life. To love and be loved.
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[01 Sep 2009|12:49pm] |
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I need help
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[16 Aug 2009|11:42pm] |
Today marks the beginning of a beautiful friendship, I can feel it.
And the world may never know.
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[14 Aug 2009|02:33am] |
My heart stops when we speak
It's like I'm trying to quiet the world around me
to hear your voice more clearly
and keep it fresh in my ears
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[12 Aug 2009|11:34am] |
THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
I don't know who to be anymore.
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[04 Aug 2009|02:30am] |
My dog was barking
and barking
and barking at something
and we could not see what it was.
I heard a sound right near me
and felt a cough in my throat
while a cool air rustled over me.
And then Facebook
(of all things, Facebook)
send me a sign
by alerting me that "someone commented on [my] guardian angel,"
those stupid applications.
And I'm taking it as a sign.
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| Maybe all I wanted was something to love. |
[04 Aug 2009|02:24am] |
One time I bought a pregnancy test at Wal-Mart
from one of my old coworkers
and drove all the way to the beach to take it
alone in a dirty bathroom stall
during my Christmas break
and when it came out negative
I sat on the sand near the ocean
and cried until I couldn't hear myself over the waves
and I consider this to be a metaphor for my life.
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[04 Aug 2009|01:12am] |
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You're young and you're going to be someone / Then you're old and you're ashamed of what you've become / Well, take a look around you / You're preaching to the choir
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[03 Aug 2009|11:16pm] |
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Thank you, father, for your eloquent advice such as, "You're lucky you like black men because they like bigger women," and the ever-confusing "People don't want to hang out with you because you make yourself too available."
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[01 Aug 2009|01:02pm] |
Everyone reminds me of someone else.
So if you're the person people remind me of,
you're in pretty good shape.
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[30 Jul 2009|11:47am] |
Everyone betrays me, because maybe I let them
They say artists like to play victim
"Art is hard," "we've got to starve,"
but I was always waiting to be rescued
And I learned at sixteen that I was on my own
that scenes aren't scripted, you have to write your own lines
and I had them in the back of my mind,
but I could never speak them convincingly
I was scared, I'm afraid, I still hate men
I bought you a scarf, burned you a mix
Took you out, gave up.. this
And all I wanted in return
were arms and songs and a mind of my own.
I make myself sick
Literally, make myself sick
I make myself sick
Still trying to get you out of my system.
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[29 Jul 2009|06:20am] |
I don't think I've ever considered myself out of someone's league before,
but honey you are ten times more desperate than I'll ever be.
And that says a lot.
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