Kandice

well fuck.

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Sat, 17 Jan 2004 20:37:41 GMT

I had lost my password here, but just found it today.
So i thought i would update and say yo.
how the fuck are you all?

Anyways, im sitll on LJ, i have a new name there tho, and umm yeah i dunno..

im bored. so ta ta.

<3 Kandice

I QUIT!

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Mon, 30 Jun 2003 04:30:41 GMT

I am moving to livejournal.
My username over there is mascara_queen

Here is the link: http://www.livejournal.com/users/mascara_queen

So go there if you have one add me damnit. Ill come back here if someone comments or whatever, but i wont post here unless im deathly bored.

Its been real.
Its been fun.
But it hasnt been real fun.

<3 Kandice

Damnit. Damnit. Damnit.

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Thu, 26 Jun 2003 16:58:05 GMT

Well.. deviantART is down, I cant go there so I really have nothing to do online. Umm..

Not much has been going on with me lately.. I feel like an emotional wreck, but Im trying to fix that. :/ How sad huh. HAH yeah right.

Anyways, just wanted to write and say HEY im alive.

~Kandice

My Weekend.

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Mon, 09 Jun 2003 06:36:25 GMT

Saturday June 07th - Marcie drove all the way from Mammoth Spring, Arkansas to get me at my house, which is right outside of Springfield, Missouri. We went to Ma & Pa’s, which is a cool club/bar in West Plains, Missouri (The town I lived in where I went to college at). And yes, it sounds like a hick bar, but its not.
We got super drunk, and drove to West Plains from her place, about a 30-minute drive. On the way up there we listened to her stereo so loud and sang at the top of our lungs to “killing me softly” by The Fugees. We drank a half-gallon of vodka. I mixed my first two big 20 ounce glasses with Kiwi Watermelon cool-aid, then, and I bought huge thing of Gatorade and drank it with it. I was so trashed that I was giggling the whole time. It was hilarious. I’m sort of drunk when I’m typing this right now, so im typing it in Word Processor so that I can fix all my drunken fuck ups. lol.
Anyways, at the club, we walked in and they were playing Tyrese “How you gonna act like that” so Marcie went and danced with one of our friends who played basketball for our college, Chris. He was making fun of us cause we were so drunk. Its a miracle the guys at the door didn't know we were drunk. Hehe. Cause Marcie fell when she walked in the door. :) Anyways, Umm. I forgot what I was saying. But, “T” was there, so was Boo and Ab. It felt good to see people that I hadn't seen since I moved out of the dorms. Umm. We stayed there till it closed at like 1:15 am or so, and then we drove home. Marcie cried on the way home because “T” was an asshole to her and didn't ask her to dance. Chris asked me to dance, but I didn't want to hurt Marcie so I didn't.
Umm. Then we got home I downloaded Audioslave's song “Like a Stone” and burnt it on a CD. hehe. That's my new favorite song ever. Umm. Damn. Then I fell asleep at like hmm. 4 am or so. It is so hot I think Im going to die. I smoked a whole pack of cigarettes last night and today. Today we didn't do anything except for sit here, we drove down to the Spring, and drove by some creeks, I talked online to a few people, and well. Now Im just waiting for 1:30 am to come so I can get online. I have to wait till then in case Chris calls tonight. Im going home tomorrow. My gramma is supposed to come get me in the morning/afternoon.
I wrote a Prose this weekend. Well, some of it the other day at my grammas, but I finished it today. I think it turned out well, even though its sort of lacking something that I cant figure out what it is. hehe.
I want to be with someone, but Im like so difficult that its hard to find someone who can put up with me. :/ I just wish I had someone to tell me they loved me. Someone who has the same interests as me. Art is so a big part of my life.. but most guys I know don’t know the first thing about it. Like one guy I dated didn't even know who Van Gogh was. I was like holy shit! You gotta go. LOL. :(
I have nothing else to say so Im going to go and check this, I have errors everywhere cause almost everything is underlined in red. LOL.

<3 Kandice

CHURCH

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Thu, 05 Jun 2003 22:03:47 GMT

Well. I didnt have to go last night, but I do tonight. Man. I just want some fucking cigarettes.
~:
Anyways. I have to go to church tonight cause my gramma pretty much is making me feel like I have to... so Im going, just because I love my gramma so much. And then afterwards Im spending the night with her, and tomorrow morning Im going to watch my cousins Cyla and Carson (5 and 4) while my gramma goes to the doctor. :)
~:
Its so sad.. my cousins live withmy gramma cause my Aunt Cristy is a crack head, and got busted with manufacuring and distributing methamphetamines (the same thing my real-fathers in prison for).. and she got sentenced to 4 months in jail/rehab. She gets out in like a week. Im so scared. She hates my gramma, and I swear, if she does anything to stress my gramma out, it will give her a heart attack. Id kill Cristy for it. UGH. I dont even wanna think like that.
~:
Umm.. Lets see.. im in a much better mood now. Guys suck still, well some, but see, the ones I could see myself being with are either too young, too old or well.. not single.
~:
:) Im going to go now. I will be back Sunday probaly. Maybe Saturday. Maybe friday night, but i seriously doubt that one.

DONT MISS ME TOO MUCH EVERYONE.

Lovies, kandice

No title for a bullshit subject..

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Wed, 04 Jun 2003 20:21:08 GMT

Well, I cried alot.
I cried myself to sleep.
I woke up, remembered and cried some more.
It's not necessarily him Im crying over, its the fact that someone can LIE to someone like that. No, he didnt out and lie and say he liked me, when he didnt. BUT. he didnt tell me that he didnt like me. I can usually tell. Im such a good judge of character.
I had no fucking idea.
It's done. It's through. It's over with.
I just get really sad because I think to myself how I actually did like him. I wouldnt have hurt him. I would of made him feel special.
:/ But now, we probably wont even be friends.
*
I hate this feeling inside. Why did I keep talking? Why did I keep asking questions? Why cant I get all of this out of my head?
*
I would never intentionally lead someone on... :(
*
I still havent smoked a cigarette.. im out STILL. but its okies, tonight, im selling my soul. lol. My grandma said she will give me 50 bucks If i go to church tonight, so, im going. wow. 2 1/2 hours of bullshit wont kill me, well, I might fall asleep, but oh well. Its pretty tame during the week.
*
I think I feel a little better now, but I am going to take a break from everything and everyone. How do I know that everyone isnt out to do the same fucking thing?
I Hate guys. :( I really, really, really fucking do.

~Kandice~

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Wed, 04 Jun 2003 06:27:39 GMT

Today me and my mom fought like all day. She kept screaming at me telling me that I should move out because Im not welcome here. Then she yelled at me for not having money. All I needed was 1 more dollar and i would have enough for cigarettes but instead she freaked out on me.
*
I dont get anything. Sometimes.. you can like someone, yet barely know them.. then.. everything fucks up.. and its as tho you cant feel the same. You have that funny little pain in the right side of your stomach. Like a knife poking out. Its how I feel now. I heard that its from crying, and squeezing your muscles. I dunno.
These tears are acid tho, cause there burning my fucking face. :/ Ill get better soon enough, right? I always do. One thing tho. I need to stop breaking the rules.

Rule # 1. Never show a guy your weaknesses.

:( Im just going to turn asexual. I dont like girls, i dont like guys, im going to be an old fucking maid who dies alone. single, unhappy and alone.
:( What a life.

~Kandice~

<3 Oh Love...

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Tue, 03 Jun 2003 17:31:54 GMT

I wrote a new poem, go to deviantart and read it.
Tonight I will be submitting Chap 2 of a collab I have been part of.
Umm.
Im downloading songs, please give me ideas.
And.. hmm. I dont know. haha. Im stupid at times.

Im going to write later if anything happens, right now, Im on my way to the shower.

Loves, Kandice

Change's are going to be happening around here.

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Sun, 01 Jun 2003 16:04:28 GMT

OK. Last night I realized something. My life can be great if I choose for it to be. Im only miserable because I make myself like that. :)
*
Hmm. On to more un-serious matters..
Im going to start changing things. I have to many stupid entries in here talking about how drunk I was, and well, its every night almost. I hate myself for the person I am.. yet.. I love me so much. Its like a rollercoaster in my head, but im trying to keep it on track.
*
Im sitting here at the computer eating Crunchy Cheetos, and its so hard to type with one hand, but I dont want the whole keyboard to turn orange. hehe.
*
I've been writing tons and tons of stuff. I'll show people some of the un-posted stuff sometime when I have enough time on my hands.
*
OMG. Does anyone remember how I said my hard drive fucked up, thats why im using my old computer? MY COMPUTER IS STILL UNDER FUCKING WARRANTY. The store we bought it from said to just bring it in Monday, and we will get a whole new computer. :D Hooray. Monday/Tuesday I will be back to me... posting stuff all the time, submitting stuff all the time, e mailing people back for once :D
*
hehe.
*
The only reason why I dont do alot on this, besides deviantART and aim is because I have to shut the internet off and re dial like every 5 minutes. Weird thing is, at night time, I never have problems. Its always during the day.
It's a fucking conspiracy, I know it.
haha. OK. My bullshit must end. I'll write more as things happen.
*
Lovies, Kandice
*

Wow. Im back. Bitches.

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Sat, 31 May 2003 04:24:12 GMT

OK. I havent wrote in this in forever. Heres the update on this soap opera I call a life.
On like, May 15th, I think, I moved out of the dorms. It was so sad, because im going to miss everyone so much. :( *cry*
Umm. But Ive changed alot. Before school, I was like obsessed with a guy that was a complete fuckhead.
and then I went to college, and wow. I got over him, fell for a new guy, got over him, drank way too much, partied way too much. And now that im back home with my parents, Im enjoying life, sober.
Ive been sober 16 days. hehe. And I like it. I only smoke like 4-6 cigarettes a day. (Much better then my 2 packs a day habit).
Umm.
Lets see. ive been writing more. All my stuff is on deviantart, which theres a link to it here ( www.evilfaeries.deviantart.com )
La La La.
I guess I will go since Im being stupid now.

Lovies, Kandice

hmmm

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Mon, 12 May 2003 01:59:46 GMT

Show me how much you love me

Im bored as hell..

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Tue, 06 May 2003 09:11:51 GMT

Which BRAND NEW song are you?

La La Fucking La La.

It's weird. I met this guy on deviantart, no dont ask who, i dont need you stalking him or telling him, but, anyways, this guy on DA, well, hes so... *smile* Awesome. heheeh :) Anyways, its weird. i cant describe it.. but.. umm. yeah, we have had tons of tornados, and its scary. but, my body is so sore. so im going to go, and finish writing this stuff :/
Umm.. yeah, I'll talk more later bout stuff :D

~Kandice

Hi. My name is Kandice and...

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Sun, 27 Apr 2003 03:22:11 GMT

I fuck on the first date.

<3 me.

(yeah, so like, no one reads this anymore. Im so about to delete this. I write and talk all bullshit that no one cares about anyways.)

Insane Thoughts

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Sun, 20 Apr 2003 00:49:16 GMT

Man, I've been sleeping alot lately. its crazy. Umm. Im reading everything in the world that i can find about Charles Manson. hes one sick fuck, but hes so fuckin interesting.. hehe :D :D
Umm yeah,so my thoughts are so fuckin demented right now, its crazy.
im hungry, but i cant eat, i went out last night to the club, and me, marcie and Chris danced like crazy all night long.. hehe.. and i was so fuckin drunk, but it was great.. hehe. I seen rob, nathan and brock. Brock talked to me, Nathan did too, but Rob was sorta being an asshole, because i talked to him about ashley and heather, he said i was ruining his night.
what the fuck ever.
Umm.
Then we came back to the dorm and drank even more, and I fucked around with this dude.. :( UGH
Anyways, marcies on her way here, and im not even ready yet, so i gotsta go get ready for the club tonight.. but im sure i will write more later.

<3 Kandice

I just wanna die..

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Wed, 16 Apr 2003 20:44:22 GMT

"I love you and miss you,find a church and start going to it. It would help your attitude immensly." -mom

A quote from the last letter my mom sent me. I thought I would share it cause its funny.

<3 Kandice

I just wanna scream

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Wed, 16 Apr 2003 02:22:43 GMT

everythings getting on my goddamned nerves ya know. UGH. i havent ate since lunch, i woke up after dinner was already closed, i have no food in the dorm room, my mom e mailed me and it makes me want to go fucking shoot myself. I dont have any money, school closes thursday, so from thursday until next monday im going to starve to death because my dumbass mom wont mail me money. god i wanna fucking scream. this is the e mail she sent me. how fucking nice huh?

kandice, we are renting the house by mema, the one the gay men lived in. we move in at the first of the month. what do you want us to do with your bed and junk??? there is no garage, nana is in texas with judy,peggy and nancy. aunt rose ( earls wife) is dying of cancer. they only gave her afew days to live and that was saturday. nanny left yesterday morning so we havent heard anything yet. bank one hires constantly. you need to find ajob there so you can rent an apartment. there is no sense in you moving to tennessee. transfer to springfield and get an apartment in town. got to go have to do online orientation. nanny said she recharged your phone card b4 you visited last you could call us some times instead of all these people whom you do not expect to support you. love and miss you, mom

Hangover..

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Sat, 12 Apr 2003 22:33:06 GMT

God damn it.

Does anyone have a gun I can borrow? I'd really like to shoot myself right now.

I did the stupidest shit last night.. and now I feel like shit, I've been crying all day and i fucking hate life right now.

Yup. Life sure does fucking suck.

XoXo
Kandice

Ugh

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Fri, 11 Apr 2003 08:46:15 GMT

well, i got drunk, zione and jermaine were going to come "kick it" with me and marcie, but they didnt, cause they were too fucked up.. lol... so, me and marcie went to Huddle House and ate.. god.. i was so fuckin drunk, and i ate like, alot. haha. biscuit and gravy, sausage and hashbrowns.. lol...
anyways.
Ugh
i dunno what to say. its 3:43 am, im mad, last night, i called eundre, and he wasnt going to come down cause it was jacques' birthday, so they all got drunk and high, and when he got back, he had to do homework and eat, and well, i was mad. Cause i wanted to get some, well anyways, then at like 2 or 3am, i get this call... heres how it went

Me: Hello
Him: Who is this
ME: Kandice
HIM: Im coming down
ME: ok
Him: Who all is down there
ME: no one, just me
HIM: ok, im coming down
Him: Are you "down"
ME: yeah
Him: ok, im coming down.
ME: bye
Him: bye

Yup, how exciting. well anyways, he came down, we did what we did, then he left.. it was crazy tho. he said he would come kick it wit me tonight, but he fuckin passed out, but he called while i was at huddle house, but i didnt get it, so i was sad, but anyways, he will come down tomorrow night im sure of it.

<3 Kandice

My life sucks. Can I trade someone lifes?

Tonight Sucked.

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Sun, 06 Apr 2003 09:31:06 GMT

Well.. me, Dave, Marcie, Kacie, Kaylee, Seini, La, Brandon, Mike, Terrell, Motts, and some others from the dorm went to the club. It sucked.

I seen Rob there, he didnt even say hi to me. I had some old dude staring at me, and hollering at me that i must be kinky, and blah blah blah..

then i seen Tara and Raquel. Jeff is in jail for 120 days for a dirty piss test from his probation officer, but they might let him out next week.

Umm.. Brock talked to me, even tho rob didnt, but rob did stare at me quite a bit... :( I actually thought I liked him.

It's so sad.. IM like sitting here, typing all this, while marcie is in the room flirting up a storm with dunbar...

And im so sad.. i just wanna be held and kissed and loved.. but its like, its never going to happen.. anytime i like someone i can never be with them because they either dont like me the same, or i do something to them that makes them not like me anymore the way they did. it always happens like that.. first butchee, i really thought I loved him, i wasnt in love, but i loved him, then Nathan... maybe he was like a e-thing, but either way, i did fall in love with him.. he was everything to me.. and I lost him.. and then... someone else.. but shes lost too.. TOO FUCKING FAR AWAY FOR ME TO HAVE :( If she even wants me anymore.

Goddamn Im so drunk, im going to have to spell check this big time...

im passing out. Bye

:( Sad Lil Kandice

mmMmmmm Drugs

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Fri, 04 Apr 2003 02:40:50 GMT

Well.. I've been huffing lots n lotsa duster. I think my brain cells are all gone. LOL. Umm. I cried lots n lots last night over stupid ass ex's of mine.. and Donnie was here, so he gave me this big huge super "Donnie Hug" and made it all better.. I talked to ash without killing her.. and then.. lets see.. i burnt another cd.. with lots of further seems forever on it.. LOL.. they sorta suck now tho ive listened to them so much.
Umm..
Me and Marcie are getting drunk tonight, we just got back from eating.. i had a yum yum crispy chicken salad wif lotsa ranch. Anyways, i gotsta get in the shower.

:( OooOh peoples tell me some good songs to download. My good source that use to tell me my "song of the day to download" lost her computer cause her parents found out she was cybering with her boi.. LOL.. hahahahhahah.. Anyways, tell me good stuff.. and what are my tastes? hmm.. everything.

<3 Kandice

I was in thugdevil8's deadjournal, and i seen this quiz.. i had to take it.. and wowies. lookie what i gots.

See what drug you are.

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 22:29:20 GMT

Are you a conspiracy theorist?

this quiz was made by Erin

No title..

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 22:05:36 GMT

Thursday night was boring.
Me, Amy, Abbie, Ashley and Heather all huffed a can of Duster... and then just hung out in the living room of my suite and talked..
*
Then, Friday, I went home to my parents house, on the way there, me, Amy and Abbie stopped at Caseys house, and me, the girls, casey and his girlfriend got high.. it was great... I was such a fuckin space case.. haha... And abbie kept talking about funny shit..
*
Then, I stayed home all weekend.. didnt do much.. talked on the phone, and slept.. thats about it..
*
Tthen Sunday, I came back to school, and me and Marcie hung out or whatever..
*
THEN.. OMG... lol... One of the basketball players, who is so adorable, was talking to me in the computer room about how bored he was, so i invited him to my room to watch a movie, and HE CAME :) anyways, then i smoked, and while i was gone he decided to leave.. so oh well.. lol.. i think its cause he thought i didnt want him there..
*
OH WELL..
*
Well, then after he left, I called Heather down to the room, and we huffed some more shit, then i ate some cabbage rolls my gramma made me.. then i passed out after talking on the phone.
*
im bored now.. nothings going on, im bout to leave tho, Marcies getting new tires on her car, and im craving some jalapeno poppers.
im going to sonic, getting that and a yummy Strawberry Vanilla Dr Pepper.. then coming back here and chillin..
*
OMG,, Byrd came back :) He gave me this huuuge hug when he seen me, and since hes so tall (6'9 I think) When he grabbed my head to hug me, it shoved me face first into his torso, it hit my labret hard, and its swollen now.. LOL
*
Oh and i went to class, some boring presentation about career services and resume writing. la la la thats my only class this week.. im so happy. i love college. I rock it..

<3 Kandice

Death

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Fri, 28 Mar 2003 11:11:50 GMT

I'm going to end up killing myself... I can just see it now...

What a fucking waste.

Hangover's Really Fucking Suck

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Thu, 27 Mar 2003 22:05:52 GMT

Well.. Lets see, last night, Me, Marcie and Heather went over to Brocks house. Rob was there, and then some korean guy their friends with came over and we all just sat there drinking on a gallon of vodka. I got so fucking trashed last night, and right now, my head is pounding.. I mean, it hurts so bad I almost cant handle it.

Well, to make a long story short about last night, I ended up getting sick, and then everyone started to pass out at like 4am, well, i wasnt tired, and I was pissed cause all fuckin Night, Marcies drunk ass was hitting on ROB! And, I mean, if I didnt like him, it would be ok, but shes my best friend here, and she was hitting on him. They went outside like 3 times, and stayed out there for like 25 minutes each time, and I have no fuckin idea what they were doin, but im pretty sure she sucked his dick or somethin.. But, then, he laid down on the bed, and he told us that we can sleep with him if we want to, well Marcie crawls over there, hops in bed with him, and like, hogs the whole bed so that I cant get in too. I almost went off on her, and since I'd rode over with Marcie, I couldnt just leave, so I called Heather, cause she had decided to go home early, and I wanted to have her come get me, cause I was so drunk, and I was about to kill Marcie, well, heather didnt answer her phone, and jeff wouldnt answer his phone, and leslie wouldnt answer hers.. no one was fuckin home.

So i went out to Marcies car, and luckily enough her keys were in the car, so i fuckin hopped in, and left.

I DONT have my license, I was SOOO fuckin drunk, and yet, I didnt wreck, and I made it all the way across town ok. And then i went to my friend Marissas house, and had her follow me over to Brocks house, so i could bring Marcies car back so she didnt freak out on me.

Anyways, I have to go.. my fuckin head hurts so bad. I mean, AGH, It just.. damn... I needa take some tylenol.

And ashley, and her sister Amy and Amy's friend.. hmm.. I think her name is Valerie, their all staying with me and Ash at the dorm tonight, so hopefully My headache goes away so we can all have fun tonight, and take lotsa pictures. LOL.

I needa find a new server to put my pictures on so that I can post pictures in here of us that I take tonight. Anyone know of any good places to go that will host my pictures?

<3 Kandice

Fa La La La La, La La La La

kandice@kandiceplain.com — Wed, 26 Mar 2003 22:43:46 GMT

Oh yeah, I got my labret re-pierced on Saturday.. hehe. its cute. But It hurts like a bitch. I hope its not infected :(

Anyways, Im going to go smoke, and listen to Dave sing later and play his guitar.. hes so cute.

Few more days until NORTH CAROLINA AND NEW JERSEY :) :) :)

*SMILEZ BIG*

buh byes